Madison Quesnel struggled to find resources for birth moms who placed their baby for adoption. She is changing that through her newly formed organization, Building Grace.
Madison Quesnel was lost.
In spring 2022, at age 19, she couldn’t quite figure out her path in life. A recent high school graduate who ventured to Lubbock from Northwest Houston, she remained unsure how to make her impact in the world.
“My parents told me that I need to leave this world better than how I found it, and that’s my goal,” she explained. “The day that I leave this world, I want it to be an ounce better than the way it was.”
Already two years into her business degree, along with a vast span of opportunities available to her at Texas Tech University, Madison questioned if she was headed in the right direction. She considered that there may be a major better suited for her future.
But before she could figure out her way, she hit a roadblock.
“I unexpectedly got pregnant with my boyfriend, and it was very difficult,” she recalled. “I ended up withdrawing from the university before my fall semester began because I didn’t know what I was going to do.”
Neither Madison nor her boyfriend was prepared to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Through heavy discussions and questioning, the couple finally decided the best option for their situation would be to place their baby up for adoption.
This difficult decision was complicated further by the fact that Madison could find no resources for birth moms entering the adoption process in Lubbock. She needed a support group or to simply talk with someone who understood her predicament.
“There was not even a website I could visit to find out more about post-placement information,” she remembered. “I felt so alone and isolated, like there was no one I could talk to.”
Three years later, Madison is proud of how she navigated these waters regardless of the odds she faced. Her return to Texas Tech in fall 2023 had her enrolling in the College of Health & Human Sciences, which has a collective mission to improve and enhance the human condition.
That’s exactly what she aims to accomplish as she nears her May 2025 graduation, so no birth mothers have to learn about the adoption process as she did – the hard way.
Adoption Adversity
If Madison had to describe her pregnancy in one word, it would be “awful.” She remained home as much as possible to avoid judgment from others and hide her shame for choosing adoption. She felt like a failure, but she had to push past these thoughts to do what was in the best interest of her child.
Madison quickly discovered adoption was a detailed and heavy process, and by the last month of her pregnancy, she was faced with the near impossible – selecting which parents would raise her child. After filling out a preference sheet and flipping through profile books of potential matches that listed fun facts about the parents’ hobbies and interests, Madison admits she was overwhelmed by the pressure to pick.
She was not at ease until she attended a virtual meeting with a set of parents who shared many similarities with her. After chatting with them, for the first time in the adoption process, Madison knew everything would be OK.
“Typically, what happens with birth moms is there’s this one tiny little thing they can pick up on,” she noted. “For instance, one of the reasons I chose my parents because they liked ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ I think it’s so cool to see choices happen like that. Who would have known that a TV show would bring three people who have never met together and a child into their lives?”
In the next few weeks, in December 2022, Madison gave birth to a healthy baby girl, opting for an open adoption where she could have contact and updates from the parents. Just as her mother’s instinct led her to believe, the pair makes a great mother and father, and she adores them.
However, the absence of her baby post placement began to cause her grief. Unbeknownst to Madison, her body’s natural instinct was to mourn for the child it was designed to care for, reacting as if she had a stillborn birth or a miscarriage. She knew her baby was alive and well from the photos she received, but the visuals would resume the yearning all over again.
“It was really tough for me to understand those grief cycles are normal, that it’s okay to feel these things,” she said. “I couldn’t really talk to anyone, so it was like, ‘I don’t know what these feelings are, and I don’t know what I’m experiencing, but I know that this is really hard.’”
With time, Madison found her new normalcy in what she describes as an extended family – getting to visit her daughter frequently with her boyfriend and even both sets of their parents on occasion. She is known as “tummy mommy” and has deepened this relationship through interactions like holiday gift exchanges and dinners.
In addition to these healing perks of her open adoption, Madison has devoted countless hours to researching the process from the perspective of birth parents. The more knowledge she gained, the more she became at peace.
“I did everything I was supposed to do,” she said. “I did what was right by my child. I think a lot of people are kind of scared to talk about it, and I’m just not anymore. It’s something I’m very proud of – it’s what makes me, me.”
Madison felt called to share what she learned about adoption with others facing unexpected pregnancies, so in her free time, she began to form a curriculum she could use to develop support groups. She called the organization Building Grace, offering online pre-placement classes to lead other birth moms through the adoption process.
She didn’t have enough money to file as a nonprofit, but began to save regardless. Her newfound drive led her back to Texas Tech, but this time in pursuit of a human sciences degree she believed would fuel her newfound mission.
After a few years of commitment likened to a full-time job without the income, Building Grace officially became a nonprofit in February 2025 – giving Madison a platform to motivate others like her.
“Hold your head up high,” she stressed. “Life is tough and you’re going to go through some hard challenges, but at the end of the day, that’s what makes you stronger. Your mistakes are just learning opportunities, so I hope you can take something that was difficult for you and turn it into good.”
Building Grace
To her joy, Madison’s outreach stretches far beyond the city limits of Lubbock. The Building Grace support groups, hosted twice a month, are typically attended by at least 10 birth moms nationwide. For 15 to 30 minutes, Madison relays advice that guides the women through the mental and physical stages they may endure.
“Not every birth mom is the same,” she said, “but I want to help them all.”
To do so, Madison has created classes that provide information like mapping financial assistance, which she said can end abruptly. But the biggest perk of her organization is letting other birth moms know that even though they will experience hard feelings, they do not have to be alone.
Madison is the sole shoulder for them to cry on in some instances, and she has even joined in their tears.
“I really do care about each and every person I talk to so deeply that I go to that extent,” she shared. “You need to have a good support system to take care of you – someone who has been through it, and I want to be that person. You can call me at any point with whatever you need, and I will stop whatever I’m doing to meet with you and make sure you are okay. I want you to know that your feelings are normal.”
Madison’s top priority is to mitigate common misconceptions birth moms deal with, such as people apologizing to a mother who placed her baby for adoption. While this is a normal reaction, she said it is an incorrect notion.
“It’s something that we should be happy about,” she said. “We should say something like, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. I would love to hear more about your story.’ That is a really great response to make a woman feel confident in her choices, because saying things like, ‘Oh, you gave up your baby? I’m so sorry,’ or stuff like that just makes her feel more isolated, puts her down, and just makes her feel like her choice wasn’t a good one.”
Another false narrative Madison regularly debunks is that birth moms will eventually try to regain custody of their children. One of her Building Grace board members has worked within adoption for more than 15 years and has never witnessed this happen.
Instead of circulating misinformation and negativity about adoption, as she has often seen in media coverage, Madison is eager to shine light on the positives.
“Adoption is an opportunity for people who struggle with infertility to have kids,” she stated. “It’s an option for people who are struggling when they’re young and don’t have the money, or maybe they’re married and have too many kids and can’t financially provide for another one. Through adoption, their kids can go to a great place and we just don’t talk about all those great things right now.”
Madison teaches those truths, among other education, regularly through her free, two-hour formal adoption trainings for hospitals, pregnancy centers, adoption agencies, and more. In addition, she remains focused on spreading the word about Building Grace so more birth moms can take advantage of the resources she provides.
While this outreach is on her own initiative, she is thankful for the encouragement she received from Page Heisser, a lecturer within the Department of Human Development & Family Sciences, who listened to her story without judgment – but with awe.
Heisser believes it is rare to see true altruism in people, but the word seemed a fitting description of Madison’s dedication to alleviate issues birth mothers face throughout adoption.
“I think what stood out to me about Madison was her resiliency and her desire to use her experiences, both good and bad, to benefit others,” Heisser recounted. “It’s inspiring to see a young person think about social issues and the impact they have on other people, not just themselves.”
By witnessing the personal strength Madison exemplifies after facing adversity, Heisser believes she has the qualities it takes to make a difference.
“She’s quite an impressive young woman,” Heisser added.
Once Madison graduates this May, her human sciences knowledge will not only empower her to grow her nonprofit but will also help her excel in assisting others through her full-time job as a claims adjuster in Dallas.
Building Grace will remain her hobby until one day it pays the bills. Whether the nonprofit will expand to a facility or become a pregnancy center and provide housing options for homeless expectant mothers is to be determined.
But Madison is confident that by losing her way, she finally found her path to leave his world a better place.
“Whenever people hear the name Building Grace, I want them to think it’s somewhere they can fall into that’s full of love, support and education they can lean on regardless of their situation or the future,” she expressed. “My goals for this are completely endless – I feel like the world is at my fingertips.”