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Re: editing

I just read Richard Marshall's post immediately after reassuring our
office secretary that she was right in saying NO to a gal who called up
wanting to have a friend drop her paper off so one of the tutors could
"mark it up for her" and send it back via friend. The secretary had
already explained that that was not the way the Writing Lab works, but
the student fussed that she "just wasn't going to be on campus for the
next few days and the paper was due on Thursday." I would love to find a
way to say Tough S--t and have it sound thoroughly professional AND
scholarly AND, well, ladylike and nice.  Sara -- what words would
Catullus have used?